I GOT PUPS FOR CHRISTMAS!

Here you're imagining adorable little four legged bundles of furry joy terrorizing our place.

You're thinking to yourself, really Jes? Do you really think that this is the best choice considering the time and effort necessary for this kind of undertaking, not to speak of the financial responsibility. With a baby on the way and your current work schedule this really isn't the best time for a new pet, none the less multiple.

Isn't Shawn more of a cat person anyway?

Is this one of those rash pregnancy decisions resulting from flared hormones and increased stress?

I can even think of a few friends in Milwaukee who would love to take the little guys off my hands once I come to my senses!

 

Before you get too carried away, just calm down a minute. No one is getting a new puppy.

This "rash" decision was no decision at all, and I would be quite opposed to the undertaking had I say in the matter. And we're not talking about bundles of joy terrorizing my place, but oh they are terrorizing.

 

I have "Pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP)"- shortened to PUPs in the medical community.

 

Apparently I have a relatively severe case. Essentially I have what look, feel, and act like a few hundred mosquito bites from my neck down to my ankles. Usually they start at your stretch marks (none of which I have yet) and spread around the belly. In some cases they affect just about the entire body (except the face). Well, they're all over. Sorry for the "TMI" factor there.

Fortunately, this condition in no way affects the baby. Completely harmless. I had wondered though, considering the hundreds of mosquito bite looking bumps, if I would be soon blogging my own version of The Metamorphosis, and become the new modern and maternal Kafka. Can you imagine birthing a 9 pound mosquito? Can you imagine nursing it?? Someone asked me this morning if I would love it as much. I would try really, really hard. 

I would, though, be instantly famous I'm sure. Take that Octo-mom. Bring it on Duggars. Forget the anxiety surrounding Shawn getting a job right away or how soon I would have go back to work. We'd be on every week right after Teen Mom 2! 

Anyway, no need to worry about that! I wouldn't want to bring my baby up in that kind of spotlight anyway. Maybe a heat lamp, though. I don't know much about raising mosquitoes.

In summary, all is fine. Mom is just a bit inconvenienced. Baby has a healthy heartbeat, and I'm even starting to show! 

We hope you are all enjoying your holiday season, and hope to see you soon!!! 

Great Responsibility (Warning-- Serious Post)

Today I feel a great sense sense of responsibility in preparing this child inside of me for the world outside of me.

I'm not so concerned with the scraped knees, bruised elbows, and bonked heads. Those are things that life will teach itself. Physical pain is by in large bearable.

I'm a bit concerned about the broken hearts, betrayed friendships, and shattered dreams. Life is full of deep and inevitable hurt. I hope that I can teach my child at least a little bit about life's unavoidable disappointments and how to cope. I will want them to know that it's okay to be sad and to look to loved ones for support. They also have to understand, though, that life will keep moving with a tough love that will not adjust itself for the sake of our recuperation.

What concerns me the most, above the inevitable hospital visits and the depth and frequency of wounded hearts, is my own child's responsibility in the world. He or she will have an often misunderstood duty to place the needs of others before his or her own. He or she is commanded to hate the sin, but to love the sinner. He or she has a purpose in the world, not to be self serving, but to serve others in love, to carry their burdens, and to love their enemies. How can I teach a child what I am constantly struggling to learn myself?

When I think about how early they will be able to walk or talk, how soon I can potty train them, or whether they will know their colors before the others kids their age I find myself (at least for now) altogether unconcerned.

On the other hand, just thinking about the daily battle with the sinful nature that this little life inside of me will face is at times almost overwhelming. I know full well the regularity with which my child will miss the mark. My child will be just as guilty as I am and it's devastating.

Thank goodness for the words of Romans 8.

Life Through the Spirit

 1 Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.
 5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

 9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. 10 But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. 11 And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

 12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

 14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Present Suffering and Future Glory

 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. 19 For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. 20 For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
 22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

More Than Conquerors

 31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



I can't really explain my comfort any better than that. I guess we'll be alright after all.

Beat Boxing Baby Woller

Hello friends! Sorry for the hiatus. I'm not going to make excuses though, because I'm pregnant and that should always be enough said.

The exciting news is that our baby is already a pretty talented beat boxer! A good friend of mine lent me her pocket fetal doppler so that I can hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want. It's been pretty amazing. When listening to it there are a lot of sounds, but once I find the heartbeat (which has been hanging out between a healthy 130-160) it completely sounds like this child of mine is laying a pretty wicked beat. Unfortunately I can't really jam out because I will lose the beat. I imagine my offspring has some pretty killer moves to go along with that wicked beat. Go baby go!

On Tuesday the 15th I will officially enter my second trimester! Crazy! I'm starting to show a little bit, but only those who have known me for a while would notice at all. I'm getting some of my energy back, but the nausea is still lingering. It's not unbearable, though. You do get used to it.

Someone asked me last week what I was going to do for the nursery, but I hadn't even thought of it yet. Well now I have! A girl at work has offered to paint a mural on the wall, so I'm processing ideas for that (I will keep it simple, I promise). Then I found this etsy site, and love it! http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesignByMaya?page=1 I'm usually not one to spend money on stuff like this, but may end up splurging on a print or two.

I hope to be a little better about updating you more often. Thanks for reading :)

Congratulations: Teebs Has a New Cousin!!

Aiden Kaspar has made it into the world!

A big congratulations to my sister Alyssa on the successful delivery of her second son Aiden!

Aiden was born around 10pm last night. 7lbs 12oz and 19inches long

I'm excited that Teebs will have a cousin so close in age!

I heard she was in labor and drove up to the hospital last night after work. Around 9pm she was only 5cm, and wanted to rest so I decided to head home since I was pretty tired myself. If I would have known he was only going to be another hour I would have waited!! I can't believe I missed meeting him right away!!

Congratulations Alyssa, Luke, and Riley! Aiden is coming into a beautiful family!

I can't wait to meet him!! Neither can Teebs!!

My Peanut is a Health Nut!

So apparently the only things that I can eat now are those which this tree-hugging little hippie inside of me deems "healthy". Greek yogurt, allowed. Pizza, definitely not allowed. Fresh fruits and veggies, they can stay. Chicken wings, forget about it.  This little punk (whom I dearly love and adore) is apparently on a soap box about eating right and making good choices. I don't know what that's about.

The tricky thing is that I had to figure this all out the hard way. Baby couldn't tell me "no, please don't eat or even want that pizza. I'm not going to like it." It's like the kid was on their cell phone with someone else's fetus saying, "Yeah, she's about to eat a slice of pizza... I know, but I really want her to learn this lesson on her own... it's really best for everyone if she discovers how to make good choices through her own discovery... it will mean more in the long run...Ok, well here she goes, gotta run. Ciao babe."

I love you baby, but sometimes mamma just wants a candy bar.

On a side note, I heard my favorite pregnancy craving yesterday. One of the Cafe waitresses would only eat rye bread loaded with butter and topped with Cheetos folded over into a sandwich when she was pregnant. Hilarious.

Shared Sandwich

Baby Bean Sprout aka Teebs (short, but also long, for TBD) just shared a sublime sandwich with me. Grilled cheese with tomato, spinach, and apple. Delicious! I may or may not (definitely may) have charred one side of it, but baby didn't mind. It was still spectacular. It was one of those things where you think to yourself, "why in the world don't I make this more often?!". Good share, eh?

On yet another positive note I think I may have hurt the feelings of my morning sickness. He's been giving me the silent treatment today, and I am so totally ok with that!

Saturday afternoon I went up to my parents house and did 6 billion loads of laundry. My sister brought my nephew and my soon to be nephew down to see me, which was wonderful. My brother in law was there too, but who really cares. (Ha ha! Just kidding Luke, love you!) At one point my sister asked my nephew if he thought I was going to have a boy or a girl. First he asked the baby, and then assuredly stated that it was going to be a boy AND a girl. I found this especially amusing considering Shawn's earlier jokes that he doesn't care what sex the baby is as long as it's one or the other!

On that note I am going to take a nice long nap before work since I have to close the bar tonight! Ugh!

Awkward Conversation

Me: Do you have a minute that we could talk?

My Morning Sickness: Yeah, what up babe?

Me: ok first of all, please don't call me babe. It makes me nauseous. Secondly, I just kind of feel like we are on different wavelengths here. We're coming at this pregnancy from entirely different angles, and I feel like you're not respecting my needs. You're just doing your own thing. I felt that you following me to work and just "hanging out" was entirely inappropriate...

My Morning Sickness: What? Are you like embarrassed of me? You don't want your little friends to know we're together? Is that it?

Me: We're not together.

My Morning Sickness: Every morning for the last week you have woken up and I have been right there. That doesn't mean anything to you?

Me: But I don't want you to be there, that's the kicker here.

My Morning Sickness: You want this baby, don't you?

Me: Yes.

My Morning Sickness: You think you can dictate everything in this child's life?

Me: Well, no.

My Morning Sickness: I am here because of that child, and if you don't think you can handle it maybe you better reconsider whether or not you are ready for our baby.

Me: Can you please never ever again refer to this child as ours? Ever.

My Morning Sickness: Whatever. I just don't know anymore if you have what it takes.

Me: I have what it takes. I just don't like you and I would really like it if I never saw you again.

My Morning Sickness: I just have a feeling that's not going to happen.

Me: Yeah, I know. I just wanted you to know how I feel I guess.

My Morning Sickness: Yeah, that's those hormones flaring up.

Me: It's not really the hormones. I mean, have any of the women you've followed around expressed appreciation or gratitude for you being there. I feel like they probably didn't. I feel like they wanted you to leave just as much as I do.

My Morning Sickness: Just goes to show you're a cruel sex.

Me: Then why don't you just leave us alone? I think we'd all be better off.

My Morning Sickness: I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Me: You could just go away, then you wouldn't have to listen to me complain about you. That would work for both of us.

My Morning Sickness: You're just being mean now.

Me: Will that work? If I am mean will you leave me alone?

My Morning Sickness: No.

Me: Fine. Well, I am going to go over there now. So, if you want a break from me being mean to you all you have to do is not follow me.

My Morning Sickness: I hate you.

Me: I hate you, too.

7 Weeks

...and I can't get myself to do anything but sleep. I worked 6am to 4pm today, and was asleep by 4:30. I woke up just as my poor husband was about to go to sleep and whined a little about how I was so hungry but too tired to make anything. Of course he gets up and makes me dinner, and brings it to me in bed. What a husband!

Did anyone else feel extremely lazy during pregnancy?? I hope 2nd trimester gives me a little more energy or this child is going to be born into one messy house. Me "nesting" right now is surrounding myself in pillows and wishing I could sleep 20 hours a day.

A Grain of Rice!

I had my first ultrasound today just to figure out officially where I am with everything. This morning I had looked up on my tracker how big my baby is, etc, and learned it should be about the size of an olive (a large one, like a martini olive). I expected to be about 9 weeks(although I did have a suspicion that I was not as far along as they originally thought I was). I discovered today that they were WAY off! I am 5 weeks and 6 days, and my baby is the size of a grain of rice! My new due date is now May 22nd!

It's kind of odd. I mean, it's great that I am due 2 weeks after finals are over instead of just before them. It will be nice to have an extra month to save up, plan, etc. However, I can't help but be the littlest bit disappointed that I have to wait a whole extra month to meet this little miracle being built inside of me.

I couldn't hear the heartbeat quite yet, but I could see it, which was pretty amazing. It was like looking at a tiny grain of rice with a little bitty throbbing speck attached to it. It was beating at 109 beats per minute today. Pretty neat.

I have been starting to feel a few more of the "symptoms" of pregnancy, which may mean I didn't just sneak by all of that, but if it means a bundle of joy is coming my way, then so be it!!

Pizza Rolls...

Today we got a little lazy and had pizza rolls for lunch. I heard my baby say to me, "Really, mom? You think pizza rolls were really a good choice for me to grow healthy and strong. Seriously." I even envisioned him/her rolling their tiny little eyes, which don't even open yet. Shawn thinks baby was probably excited to have pizza rolls. In Shawn's head the baby said, "sweet! Pizza Rolls! Thanks mom! You rock!"... Or something along those lines.

Appointment Update!

Yesterday I met with the nurse practitioner, and she said that I could be due anywhere from April 24th to May 14th! I have my first ultrasound on Monday the 26th to figure out how far along I am for sure. I probably won't be able to hear the heartbeat yet or see much, but I am super excited anyway!

That's all for now!

Baby's First Concert!

Last night Shawn, a friend, and I (+1) went to go see a concert at Turner Hall Ballroom. I won tickets through our local radio station to the James Vincent McMorrow show. I was sitting there the whole time thinking how this was baby's first concert. Should I start a scrapbook and put the tickets inside? Should I buy an album as a keepsake? I hope it wasn't too loud (although I'm pretty sure hearing doesn't develop until 14 weeks or so... and the show was very chill). Shawn had a PBR tall boy at the concert, and couldn't help but mention that he's drinking for two now. :)

It was just so fun to apply every little piece of my life to my new baby!


James Vincent McMorrow::
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_0gEC2OBDs&feature=related

It's So Hard Not To Tell EVERYONE!!

I have only told 3 or 4 people from work at this point, so it's still very much on the down low. Holy cats, is it difficult to keep it that way!! Last night I was standing behind the front desk with one of the girls and all I could think about for over an hour was telling her. Finally, I had to just leave and hunt down someone I had already told so I could talk about it and not burst!!

In related news, I have officially booked my first two appointments with the Dr. to get that ball rolling. I don't really have a doctor, so it will be a new person. Hopefully I like her. If not, I may try to find someone else? I'm not entirely sure how this all works so I guess I will just make it up as I go along!

I plan to tell my family Sunday when I see them, and I feel like I'm going to explode the second I see them. It will be hard not to be tempted to just call them and tell them sooner!!

Alright, back to work... not that I'll be thinking about work...

I'm Finally Having a Baby!!

Hoorah!

I feel like I have been waiting forever to get pregnant and I finally am! It's so exciting! I am hoping to keep all loved ones as up to date as possible on this little bean sprout, hence the new blog! Also I think it will be so nice to look back later.

So: according to calculations based on my cycle, I am approximately 8 weeks pregnant and have a due date of April 24th, 2012. This will oh-so conveniently be one week before my wonderful husband and father of our brand new baby will be taking the finals for his very last year of Law School at Marquette! Yikes! Now because I've never really been "normal" as far as my cycle is concerned, I will not know the official due date or how far along I am until my first ultrasound. I could potentially only be 6 weeks along (or somewhere in that range).

We have talked about whether or not we want to find out the sex of he baby, and are leaning towards waiting.

According to whatever website I looked at my baby is probably somewhere between the size of a blueberry and a jellybean. It's starting to sprout hands, feet, and ear buds!

I have been blessed with essentially no morning sickness whatsoever! (thank you Jesus, Amen!) I am not sleeping very well, and have been getting headaches, but am so excited about having this baby that I feel just spectacular!

I hope to keep this updated regularly and probably will if I write at least one millionth of the times that I'm thinking about it!